Race Report: SBR Sprint Triathlon.... and the dreaded DNF

Usually athletes write a race report after finishing a winner race, detailing their adventure second by second, how they felt at every inch of the course, and sharing little lessons learned along the way.

Well, here is my race report -- but I'll warn you - it's not a glowing review of a PR race, detailing my personal best with details of how I pushed through despite the pain and fatigue. But I like to believe that my story IS triumphant -- although how so remains to be seen. I've thought through every second of the race, and deciphered what went wrong so it won't happen again. I don't regret the decisions that I made, I just hope that I (and other endurance sport participants) will learn from my experience.

I awoke Saturday morning tired, but excited. I was about to participate in my 2nd ever triathlon, and I was ready to fight the good fight. I arrived at the beautiful race site (with my triathlon training friends Megan, Yael and MaryBeth), settled in the mountains of upstate NY. The water looked peaceful, the air nice and cool -- aside from the impending rain, it was a nice day for a race.

As we headed into the water for the swim I felt happy, excited for myself and my friends (Megan and Yael were about to complete their first ever triathlon!) I ran into the water, slow but steady, and got ready to swim. The water temp was 67 degrees -- as a girl from FL, I wasn't REALLY aware of what that meant. I was equipped with a wetsuit - but one that didn't have any sleeves. I thought I'd be fine. However, I wasn't. As soon as my body hit the water, my heart froze. I tried a slow doggy paddle to let the other women get away from me on the swim, but found that I couldn't take the next step to put my head under the water. It was becoming harder and harder to breathe, and I think in retrospect, I was going into a full-blown panic attack. My body was not responding to my trying to swim, and my head was saying "just calm down!!" - but i couldn't. I finally admitted defeat and called over a lifeguard to help me out. How ironic! Only 2 years prior to this, I was volunteering as a "Swim Angel" helping women in their first sprint triathlons make it through the water. Now I was the one who needed help! I hung out for a bit with a life preserver, trying to slow my breathing, and continue to move along, kicking my legs. I let the life preserver go, and tried to swim -- but I STILL COULDN'T! "Come on, Shari! You can do this!" I said.. but I couldn't slow my breath enough to breathe comfortably while swimming. So i found help on the nearest surf board.

At this point, the rest of the women swimming were what seemed like miles ahead of me -- including one of my team mates who I knew I could swim better than. I started to cry (which didn't help my breathing), and the poor lifeguard on the surf board probably really didn't know what to do with me. I finally let go of the surf board, and started to swim. I made myself swim 10 strokes, then take a break, and continued with this, through the swim. I was finally able to calm myself down, and enjoy the feel of the water, but I couldn't shake the feeling of sheer disappointment as I got out of the water (with only 4 people behind me), and headed towards transition 1.

I ran into transition 1 and jokingly commented to the other 2 people in the area "Well, at least it's easy to find your bike this way!!" Threw off my wet suit, and threw on my bike shoes.. At this point, it wasn't about my time anymore -- that had gone out the window in the first 5 minutes of the swim -- it was just about finishing for me. My friends, who are about the same pace as me, were probably nearly 15-20 minutes ahead of me, and I just wanted ot get this over with.

Little did I know, I was heading out on the hardest bike course I had ever encountered in my life. Biking is fun -- but biking hills is just really challenging. And biking hills, ALONE is challenging and frustrating. My front wheel was rubbing the front breaks, and subsequently, even after shifting my gears as low as possible, I was still working harder than normal to climb the hills. But yet, I persevered. I just wanted to finish. I tried to relax and enjoy the breathtaking views of mountains, nature, and beautiful lakes and campground sites. I just kept going... but the bike course seemed to take FOREVER! and I wasn't going fast enough to keep up with the few racers who were behind me in the swim, but passed me in the bike. GRRRRR! WHAT AM I DOING HERE! was exactly how I felt. Finally, with one racer behind me, I sped down the 2 mile downhill, and shifted my gears, knowing what was next...the dreaded 1.5 mile straight uphill.

I tried and tried, but I just couldn't do it -- I had to get off and walk. My messed up breaks, coupled with my frustration and out-of-whack emotions just led me to complete and utter distress. Before I knew it, the girl who was behind me passed me, and I became the last biker out there (confirmed by the police car on my tail, following me as I walked/biked slooooooooooowly up the hill.) I was spent -- i just started to hyperventilate and cry. WHAT A MESS! This is NOT what I had hoped for with my first race back in the triathlon circuit. I was full on dejected. "Maybe this sport just isn't for me," went through my head more than a few times.

As I biked back into the transition area, I knew the day was over for me. Nearly all of the other athletes were packing up their race things, and some were already in their cars heading home. I didn't want to be a quitter, but I couldn't imagine going out for a 3 mile run at this point. I actually did put on my running shoes, thinking "maybe I'll just go for it..." but I heard some woman say how hard the run was, and I decided then to turn my chip in, and cheer on my friends as they ran into the finish instead. I found my friend Yael as she was nearing the finish, and cheered her in. HOORAY!!! I was proud of them, but even more disappointed in how my day went.

So, why was this day triumphant, you ask? Well, it's Monday morning -- I've had 2 days to think through what happened on Saturday, and I decided that it wasn't me - it wasn't my inability to complete the race that held me back. I wasn't going to be the fastest athlete out there, but I could have finished (and probably would have pushed myself more with some fellow athletes at my side, instead of being out there on my own...) I decided that it was factors that were out of my control that led to what happened on Saturday. And now I know that I need to work on open water swimming, I need to cover my arms to make sure my body is warm enough to swim in lake/river water in the Northeast. And most importantly, I have two more races scheduled for this summer -- I need to NOT give up.

So, the triumphant end to this story is that it is Monday, and my swim gear is packed for practice tonight. I'm not giving up, and I WILL cross the finish line of the New York City triathlon on July 26. This may have been a minor set-back, but it's made me even more eager to challenge and prove myself with a full olympic triathlon. And, given it's a race of more than 3,000 athletes, I'm certain I won't be out there alone.