It just takes time.

One thing that I constantly harp on myself about... and get harped on for by my boyfriend... is my lack of patience. That's me! Super ambitious, constantly craving (be it food, excitment, sleep, etc.) and never EVER able to take a step backwards, appreciate what's there, and just enjoy.

So... this is a new challenge that I'm trying to become more aware of, and improve upon. Ultimately I won't ever 'cure' myself of this need to know what's next, get involved, be all things to all people, etc. In fact, it's something that I don't WANT to cure about myself. Because of this ambition, i have:
Switched high schools after 10th grade to go to a "School of the Arts"
Got my first internship in NYC (no networking needed!)
Moved to NY for good
Finished my first triathlon
Applied and attended grad school at my DREAM SCHOOL!
Moved BACK to NY, and got another amazing job.

However... despite the many good things going on in my life, it's hard for me to just relax and enjoy... I'm always looking for the next big get. (my boyfriend was worried about initially dating me, b/c my Jdate profile was too intimidating! She runs, she tris, she plays cello, she volunteers, she's social...ahhh!)

Well, here we go. Because i've recognized lately that there are some things that might NOT come so easily to me. Namely, losing weight and adjusting to my "new and improved" life in NYC.

I'm used to adjutments - i really am. I switched schools in the middle of HS, i moved to new york 1 month after graduation, i moved to chicago without a flinch. But how easily we forget that none of those times was stress-free for me. (what is?) So, why now?I've lived in NY before - I have the same friends, the same jaunts, the same city... so why should it be so hard to adjust to the new things - a new apartment, and a new job?

IT JUST IS. And it's been harder than you'd think for me to recognize this. So... I'm trying to set my sites to day-to-day adventures, rather than thinking so far ahead. Sure, the triathlon is in the distant future, but it's about the journey, not the destination, right? And while I'm much happier in the city now than I was during that miserable time when I first moved here... I'm still adjusting. To the city. To the job. To the new (and exciting) life here. And you know what? That's ok. (say it... believe it!)

My weight. Now this is one thing that's really got me. After years, and years, and years of fighting the good (well, not so good) fight, why expect the weight to just melt off you? So, this too is a journey. I'm trying new foods to see how they affect me. Trying new workouts to see how those work too. I'm only on about week 3 of the 'actual' battle - and so far it's going well. As of this morning, I've lost 6 lbs since I arrived in NY. And I'd have to say.. that's pretty good.

then WHY is it not enough? Why do I still want more? For me, because of reasons explained earlier, a question I may not be able to answer. I suppose in due time, perhaps it will be.

All for now...